Finding Your Niche

When I was very young, I was really set on the idea of being a bin-man, much to the amusement of my parents/any adult who I shared my life-long ambition with. Until, that was, that I got a Crayola computer game, on which had a video showing how a crayon factory worked. I was swung almost immediately, and I still to this day would love to visit one to watch the fascinating process. If you have a spare minute, I suggest you watch the Youtube video I have linked below, all the melted wax will have you itching to visit too.

This video is what childrens' dreams are made of.

My short attention span could be artfully disguised as experimentation. I get overly excited about a subject, throw my entire life into it, and then forget about it as soon as something new distracts me and takes over my imagination. Each new ambition consumes me and I set to make it “my thing”, then at the first bump in every road I sit back down on the sofa and trawl the internet again. I am the Queen of making mountains out of molehills.

As somebody adverse to the ideology of going through education, getting an office job that you stay in until retirement (with the exception of maternity leave, a second rate honeymoon, and the occasional family holiday that the little brats won’t appreciate), finding a job that one might actually enjoy is a mammoth task. Let me be clear here that I will not be handing out advice, misleading as the title of this entry may be. As many of my friends have said to me, I am not, and will not ever be qualified to give advice.

I have lived my entire life with family members, presumptuous men in clubs and friends alike telling me I should model; without realising they are actually giving me a back handed compliment seeing as I neither equate the desired height nor weight requirements to fulfil such a career. Having lived the majority of my teenage years willing myself to grow that inch taller, seeking comfort in fried foods, it’s only recently that I have allowed myself to accept that this cannot and will not happen. And don't you dare try and make me feel better by patting my shoulder and telling me I could still try glamour. Maybe you should try glamour. 

It appears that “finding your niche” is not something that happens naturally, something that just falls into your lap, but something you find that you really enjoy and are willing to work hard at. With this in tow I thought it would be a piece of cake, and set to try (or consider trying) almost everything under the sun. By everything, I think we all know I mean everything which is seen as ‘cool’.

I thought I might like to be a painter, but I couldn’t even will myself to the shops to buy paints. My excuse for failing at photography was that with the internet there are thousands of images already instantly available of what you aim to capture. My singing voice is almost comedic and if you’ve ever seen me dance it leaves you wishing you had a video camera to send your experience off to You’ve Been Framed.

I am constantly plagued with the knowledge that there is always someone not only with a better attitude than me, but with a thousand times more talent too. And it is here that we come to my latest rekindled ambition – to write a book. As I confide in my mother with my wishes, I am met with the response “That’s nice, can you do it after you tidy your room?”. I suppose she is right, considering it took me 6 weeks to find the willpower to write the previous entry on here. Perhaps until I am in my fifth-life crisis I will remain as I am, travelling through life at such a snail’s pace that I am hardly travelling at all. I shall continue to enjoy music, and books, and other peoples’ success until my ravenous jealousy peaks through again, and I burst through the water like the world’s only power hungry dolphin.